Tip Tuesday
Create rules and consequences for your teens at the same time.
Conflict between parents and teens is often a cycle. The teen does something (or fails to do something). The parent becomes angry and reacts by giving a consequence. The teen becomes angry, and the whole thing is repeated again the next time. This happens because:
- Teens see their parents’ reactions as unfair. Instead of focusing on their own behavior, they focus on the reactions.
- Teens blame their parents for punishing them. Again, they do not think of their own behavior, only their parents’ reactions.
Break this cycle by getting away from reactive parenting. When you make a rule for your teens, do not just issue a command. Discuss the rule, then give two situations. Situation A, which happens if they follow the rule, is pleasant for them. Situation B, which happens if they don’t follow the rule, is a predetermined consequence.
Now, instead of reacting, you have given your teens responsibility for their actions. They can make their own choices, knowing in advance what the results of each choice will be.
Source: The Parent Institute
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